The Perfect Internet Cafe

June 20th, 2007 26 Comments

Most MMO game players in the Philippines play in Internet Cafes.

I really don’t know why they call a place WITHOUT coffee a “Cafe”. But what the hey… a cafe is a computer shop. Add noisy teens, fun games, low ceilings, grimmy keyboards/mice and you get the idea of the joys of the Pinoy cafe culture.

Having been to several cafes – from those simple 10-seaters without aircons to the fully decked out set-ups like E.G.G. (with rigs to totally die for), a lot of the cafes here in our country average around 20-30 seats or so. We’ve had events across the nation in all sorts of cafes too.

This post is a simple wishlist on what I envision a perfect cafe to be.

Ok… so what does it take to be an ultimate cafe?

Here’s my list:

  1. Open 24 hours
  2. PCs with at least 1G Ram and kick-ass video cards
  3. comfy seats (car seats are the best)
  4. strong aircon
  5. a female (sexy) cafe manager (who’s a gamer too!)
  6. a smoking area (separate from the non-smoking)
  7. fast (and I mean FAST) internet connection
  8. NO disconnections
  9. accepts credit (hehe)
  10. free drinks (non-alchoholic of course)
  11. Loyalty rewards
  12. A bunk area (for me to take a quick nap and then play again!)
  13. a bulletin board to display your stuff for sale
  14. dim lights
  15. a private place for video conferencing *snicker* (some really do)
  16. a locker room
  17. serves Gamer Food
  18. NO keyloggers
  19. Allows USB drives
  20. Has a download or torrent station
  21. separate bandwith for youtubers and friendster customers
  22. has a body-odor detector in the front door
  23. each members gets an INDIVIDUAL earphone
  24. a virtual locker for your screenshots and torrent files
  25. regular tournaments for boys and men to prove that they are better
  26. shower area in the comfort room
  27. free deodorant in the comfort room
  28. money-back guarantee
  29. lots of Level Up game cards
  30. Wi-Fi area
  31. Filesharing area (where I can share stuff with my friends)
  32. Comfy lounge
  33. A well-armed (and alert) security guard
  34. Parking (lit)
  35. No slippers allowed

How about you? Anything to add?

Ciao,

GM T

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  • fatman

    I used to buy coffee of the day, by the mug too, from the Starbucks store beside the internet cafe, before logging in the cafe itself. It got so that the baristas at Starbucks actually know me by name because of that habit of mine. There’s a different ambience when you play in an internet cafe, as compared to playing at home. FYI, I played pRO at the internet cafe. :)

  • http://desquallie.blogspot.com DeSquallie

    How about hardcore gamer packages (10 hours – 100 pesos, 24 hours – 200 pesos, 2 days – 350 pesos, 1 week…)

  • headtrip

    LOL

    you got everything and add that to DeSquallie’s comment and you got gaming heaven. Closest that comes to this is Station 168 and EGG. If only they are a bit more affordable haha

    Those 2 are about the only places that I can go where my games would actually run at high settings.

  • http://female-gamer.com Trinity

    I like your list except for number 5. I’ll take a hunk of a gamer guy (if those exist) instead. ;)

  • CaptainSlackr

    Add to your list:
    1) Special sections for Level Up! games like a Ragna section, Flyff section, RF section, etc.
    2) Vendo machines for LU! cards
    3) Water-proof keyboards and mice (for accidental spills)
    4) Sexy female attendants in cosplay offering massage service while playing
    5) Jingle bags in every terminal (for continuous uninterrupted gaming experience) OR… catheter nalang kaya?
    6) Cellphone charger or iPod dock in every terminal
    7) Libre kulot or hotoil while playing
    8) Mom/wife/girlfriend/school principal/boss alert or alarm at the cafe entrance
    9) A punching bag (or piñata) with the face of the pulpul city/town councilor who insists on making local ordinances against internet cafes.
    10) and a special room with a kick-ass PC for LU GMs and sales executives.
    Wooot!

  • http://www.clan-Lotus.co.nr priss

    a sexy attendant that roams around.. XD

  • Sandro

    Screens between pc units para iwas ‘comsat’ during LAN games. ^^

  • http://terrapixel.wordpress.com Terrapixel

    how about adding in rooms for stay-in customers? or have some cool chic announce your time-outs with overhead speakers…ding ding ding…

  • http://desquallie.blogspot.com DeSquallie

    5) Jingle bags in every terminal (for continuous uninterrupted gaming experience) OR… catheter nalang kaya?

    Hindi nalang kaya isang room with bathroom and sofa per computer per gamer/group? Medyo malaking sakop ng space at parang magiging mall ang itsura pero at least hindi kayo mawawalan ng gana kung mayron kayong katabing umiihi sa harapan mo. X_x

    Siguro pwede rin maglagay ng ramp and stage sa gitna ng room, para may magmodel na babae at lalake dun for gamers pleasure. Pero mmya mawalan ng concentration mga gamers tapos -1% na sa progress kasi na dedo. ^_^

  • http://sniperangel.pinoygaming.net SniperAngel

    Catheter option? With a sexy cafe manager? o.o;;
    I love internet shops with dim but not so dark halls. Too bad it most of them have air fresheners in cigarette flavor [tapos aircon], gives me the headache.

    And yes, Gamer Food. Cup Noodles, or Donuts with Iced Tea. Keeps me goin.

  • Perrin

    sir T,

    kano naman po rate per hour ng ultimate shop mo?

    /heh

  • http://gmtristan.com GM T

    P20 to P25 per hour lang dapat… if the service is like that… then it will be full 24 hours, diba?

    Anyways… the jingle bags are cool (and so funny!!!) bwahahaha…

    Imaging calling the “bantay” – “Kuya, puno na tong bag… nde ko jingle to-its”

  • Lix Tetrax

    That’s really the “Perfect Cafe”

    Para siyang yung Portal 1618 dito sa taft, couch at mga sofa ang seats >_

  • http://gmtristan.com GM T

    Pics?

    I have an idea. One of these days, I’ll be opening this blog and will feature some cafes. This will help the cafe industry. Wait for this post soon

  • http://www.tabulas.com/~matsukaze matsukaze

    24 hrs? blueskies katipunan! you get bang for your buck as you can run almost aanything with high settings. the cigarette smoke from smoking gamers is annoying though. as for comfort, Dynaquest here in UST Padre Noval street has car seats. can’t say the hardware comes to par with blueskies though. also 24 hrs open.

  • http://rhianramos.org TriggerX

    Nice post pero.. cno tga Padre Noval St d2?… alam nu ba location ng BA computer shop galing me jan kahapon hindi ko mahanap plz help… BA or Battle Arena Computer Shop plz help tnx.

  • Pingback: Dealing With MMORPG Boredom | gmtristan.com

  • Todd Oldfield

    Hey all. I like this topic.

    I am thinking of setting up an internet cafe and this is good market information.

    What % should be smoking and what % should be non-smoking?

    How important would a music system be?

    Dark cafe better or bright?

    The low, table level monitors or eye level monitors better (I would think the eye level are better).

  • Pingback: How to Start Your Own Internet Cafe Business | gmtristan.com

  • http://cbs.com/primetime/survivor16 Alcadio

    Nakalimutan mo i-bida na licensed and mga software mo… Licensed nga ba?

  • Jay

    How does the “Locker” system works?

  • Muypogi praxis Server RF online

    Have you Guys Tried WARZONE here in L. Guinto Street Malate malapit sa La Salle

  • guest lang

    Gud Idea GM T, sa rate na 20-25 per hour, malulugi ang cafe

  • tame

    yung mga demands na gusto natin for perfect internet cafe, hindi kaya ang 20-25 rate, kung baga eh, ano kayo sinusuwerte.

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